Not Posting

I have purposely not posted in a few days for several reasons. First, and probably the biggest reason was my irrational desire to not post anything that was too negative. I wanted a positive, and happy, upbeat even blog. *snort* I have realized that life is not positive, happy, and upbeat all of the time.

Second reason is that I feel depressed. Am I clinically depressed? Probably, but again, since losing the job I don't have health insurance, so I can't really run right out and go to good old crazy doc. So I must deal in any way that I know how. And you might be curious to know how I've been dealing with this. In one word: torture. Not the kind that involves water-boarding, cutting off of the toes, and such. No, no, no....I'm much more devious then that. I prefer the kind of mental torture that I can only hear in my head. I really wish that I could take some of the self-loathing that I can create in my head and bottle it. I could then sell it to convicts and I am almost positive that it could make them go straight and become normal, functioning members of society.

The problem is that not only do I torture myself, I tend to torture Dug as well. I've put the poor kid through a lot for no reason. He's a good man for sticking by me through all of this, but heaven only knows how much more the guy can take. He deserves a good person, and I feel like my good person is slipping farther and farther away.

So, as you can see, I'm having a rough time. I haven't been posting because I am not sure that I am ready to share that with the world. But here it is, in all back and white.

Apparently The Cool Kids Are Doing It

I've never forayed into blogging before, save a few random posts on a work related blog. I'm not sure if I'm way behind on the curve, or if I'm just so cool I'm to far ahead to even consider a blog. However, after spending the majority of my computer-related hours jumping around from blog to blog, I've decided to start my own. So here I am internets.

They say that a major life change will ripple out into other smaller life changes. If that true, then I consider this to be one of those changes. I quit my job on Monday. It was a good job, paid the bills, offered me comfort, and was relatively easy. But it wasn't what I wanted, it drove me crazy. So I quit to pursue something that I really like. Not quite sure what that is yet, however I'm sure that I will be filling the time between complete mental breakdown (i.e. quitting a perfectly good job) and nirvana (finding something I love) with waiting tables. Which actually, I really enjoy despite the general unattractiveness of the profession.

I suppose that time is the ultimate factor in this one. We shall see where it goes, and how the river flows, and all of those other good things. And you know, now that I'm reading over this, I feel like maybe I should have introduced myself. Is that blogging appropo? I think I'm going to buck the system. Eventually the details will come to light I'm sure.

Untill then!