A Fork in the Road

One of my favorite bloggers has recently announced her pregnancy, and I can't express how excited I am for her. Another of my favs is expecting her third next Wednesday. And another wonderful set of parents just recently welcomed a beautiful daughter. I've been surrounded recently with babies, and people professing their desire for children recently and it has raised a few questions in my own mind.

It's an amazing, awe-inspiring responsibility to be able to bring a child into the world. And I for one know that I am not ready for that responsibility. I can't even remember where I put the cord to my camera, what makes you think I remember where I put a baby? I have no doubts that I were blessed with a child right now I would handle the responsibility. It would be difficult, and stressful, but quite possibly the most important thing I've ever done. Even with that conviction, I know that I am no where near ready.

I recently quit my job. I am in the process of looking for a new one, and I think I pretty much have one all wrapped up at somewhere very impressive. (Details will be forth coming just as soon as I am sure it's a done deal.) In addition to that, I have also gone back to school to pursue my RN. I want to help people, and feel like I make a difference. If you know me at all, you know that I don't do thing half-heartly. I am, in fact, not only pursuing my RN, I am planning on pursuing my Masters Degree as well in the same field. This is all well and good you see, but it make me wonder when will I have the time to start my own family.

You see, I want to be a nurse, and do the best that I can in that field. And doing the best requires lots of schooling. I'm willing to go through all the schooling necessary to get there. However, I know this is a huge demand on time, money and emotional resources. And with so much of me already committed to that, where am I going to find the time to make a marriage, a baby, and a family work? Do I really have to choose between them? How do we decide which part of our life should take precedence?

I'm hoping that I wont have to decide. I'm hoping that things will work out in their own sweet time, and leave me wondering why I ever began to stress in the first place.